Tags: 1 line dad jokes 1 line puns 1 liner joke of the day 1 liner jokes 1 liners 10 best one liners 100 best one liners 100 funny quotes and one liners 1000 short funny jokes 101 best one liners 1950's one liners 2 line funny jokes in english 2 line jokes 2019 one liners 2020 one liners 21 one liner jokes 30 great one liners 5 one liners 52 of . Whos there? Monday is the yardstick against which all that is unpleasant is measured. Lou Brutus, 37. From life's many lessons, struggles and joys to the always interesting realities of life, you might find the perfect words in these funny life quotes, including some on the topic of family. People without self-awareness go through life simply reacting out of habit. John C. Allen, 7. What happens to an illegally parked frog? 17. All i want to go back and meet eligible single and one liners for special someone for dating sites embrouilleur je parle bien c'est tout. Little decisions you make alter your life, but they rarely do so all at once. Janet Springer, 53. What do you call a hippies wife? In one episode . Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing. "I like work. W.C. Life. "Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart." - Ross Perot "The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life." - George Carlin "There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them." - Lawrence Welk "All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed." - Sean O'Casey The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Oscar Wilde, 13. Whether you need to allow you have some usernames cute and one of man writes hilarious profiles in the number one liners. One bad chapter does not mean your story is over. There's nothing like a little alone time to make you appreciate your own company. "Luis Buuel, 49. All rights reserved. Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. Do not underestimate your abilities. If you think you are too small to make a difference, you havent spent a night with a mosquito. African proverb, 12. Until then, lets all keep living our best (and most enjoyable) lives! That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes. If it were easy, fathers would do it." You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. I want to receive exclusive email updates from YourDictionary. Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry-erase board has to be the most remarkable. Whats motivating you to get out of bed instead of hitting the snooze button for the seventh time? That means I talk down to people. "Stanley Hudson, The Office, 3. Roses are red, violets are blue; white wine costs less than a dinner for two. The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph! Marvin Phillips, 4. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. The Best Employee Recognition Software Platforms Elbert Hubbard, 6. 51 Funny Work Quotes | Funny Boss and Co-Worker Quotes - Reader's Digest The purpose of life is to grow. Does this taste funny to you?. Willie was a Chemist, But Willie is no more, What Willie thought was H20 Was H2SO4. "Judith Martin, 62. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? Whos there? Here, we've rounded up a variety of the best Father's Day gifts (and gag gifts) that are just as hilarious as all of his one-liners and quips. 32. What do you call a steak thats been knighted by the queen? Enjoy. Then it hit me. 80 Sarcastic One Liners - Daily Funny Quote 47. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo. 'Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive' is an oft-heard and good one-liner that inspires people to be positive about life and makes you laugh. jokes, Life, smile, Stress-free, witty one liners. Love the life you live. A: Tell a good joke at work by first finding an. Next, check out these bar jokes that are hilariously funny. "Lily Tomlin, 19. 59. Polite tennis players give each other backhanded compliments. ( Golf Workout Program) 7) "Housework won't kill you. "One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.". The first few lines of a speech are like little teasers.